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Interested in generating your own Mac articles?
Try this automatic article generator --

By:David K. Every
©Copyright 1999

Do you enjoy reading the presses average article about Apple or the Mac? Here is your chance! With this revolutionary Article Generator, you can make your own mainstream article. You will be amazed by the life-like results! When filled-in, the article looks amazingly similar to many of the articles you have read in the press. It will take a keen eye to be able to tell these "generated articles" from the originals. Give it a try!


published in the



Despite Apples' recent announcement of , the company is doomed because

According to the (clueless) analyst (who does all his work for Windows based companies), Apples stock decline has nothing to do with the merciless bashing by the press! Nor does the lack of consumer confidence have anything to do with the continuous mis-truths and errors spewed out in our paper.

Apple and Macs continue to lose market share because

According to SPA the Macintoshes software sales figures fell by an estimated while the industry at large grew by . However, do not look too closely at the numbers or you will find that the .

Apple declined to comment on rumors of an Eminent take-over by: ,because it would violate a few laws if they did so. We find these rumors unusually perplexing because we have been saying for 15 years now that Apple has no value, and that no one should want to buy them.

Mac sales today are over 10 times what they were a decade ago in both volume and dollars per year. But that is no indication that Apple is out of the woods. Just like the Sony BetaMax format lost out to VHS, Apples' Macs are doomed (despite their incredible growth) because Apple .

The troubled computer maker has , in a last ditch effort to save itself. Just because we have been wrong in predicting Apples demise on 325 prior occasions, does not mean that we won't be right on one of our predictions in the future.

Because of Apple's deepening crisis, a number of Silicon Valley executives are speculating that Apple as in investment is a lousy buy, because they are ignoring.

Mac users responded with hostility to our previous article, that was titled "MacOS - DIE! DIE! DIE!". We received hundreds of vitriolic hate-messages that had the nerve to point out the facts and some even tried to correct our errors! We request that in the future Mac users would stop Remember, we are not going to let the truth get in the way of a good story!


Please note that the reason I wrote this article is not because I have -

sold short Apple's stock, and want to make a killing by bashing them.
invested in BeOS and am mad because Apple is smarter than I am.
wasted countless hours learning windows and want others to suffer as I have.

In another related story, Microsoft WinNT continues to be a raging success -- despite the facts that WinNT sales are still 1/10th of MacOS sales and there are fewer Win32 titles than there are titles for the MacOS.

Despite the facts that Bill Gates uses a Mac, Microsofts packaging, advertising and printing departments use Macs, and Microsoft created a whole Mac Application Division -- Bill Gates commented that, that "Windows is as good as a Mac". He also pointed out that the Macs market is irrelevant -- unless he is talking to Mac-users, and then Macs are great. He also mentioned that Microsoft does not participate in monopolistic practices, and that Microsoft products contains zero bugs (those are features).

No animals were harmed in the creation of this article -- it is only the Mac users, software companies, programmers, sales people, and public at large that is harmed by our garbage reporting.

Created: 4/5/97
Updated: 11/09/02

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